The Silly Season was uncharacteristically cool this year in Sydney. We all thought we’d escaped the dreaded heatwave that comes a-knocking each and every Christmas. Bad luck. Now that the tinsel has been packed away and compulsive credit card swiping has ceased, the Sticky Season has officially begun. That’s right, Sydney summer may have been a little delayed this year but it sure as hell has arrived. Men with sweaty backs, teenagers with lobster red burns (at least it’s cheaper than a chemical peel), neighbours climbing over their fences to steal a quick dip in the pool next door.
Having endured Sydney’s hottest week on record, fortunately there is some relief to be had under the scorching sun. You scream, I scream, we all scream… well you get the idea. None of this trans-fatty, hydrogenated stuff… although I can’t truthfully deny rumours that I threw myself in front of the Mr. Whippy van in the summer of ’03.
I’m talking about hard-core ice ice [cream] baby: gelato and sorbetto, or as the French say, glace and sorbet.
The laborious (?) work has all been done for you… as a true frozen dessert addict, I’ve not left one decent ice cream bar unlicked. It wasn’t easy, dear friends… on one particular occasion I found myself eating four ice creams in a row. The sensible thing would have been to taste a little and then leave the rest for my hungry little ant-friends, but I just can’t stand to let good food go to waste (so it goes to my waist instead). It’s my father’s fault, we never were allowed to leave the table without finishing everything on our plate.
So invest in a two dollar portable fan and befriend any individual who has a backyard pool/ air conditioning (good luck finding a spare patch of sand at the beach). And while you lavish in your ice cream oasis, take a moment to marvel at the wisdom of the ancient Chinese, whose inventiveness and foresight paved the way for glace geeks and sorbet suckers everywhere.
French Riviera, 68 Liverpool Street Sydney 2000
Talk about a brain freeeeeeze… let’s hope it’s not permanent.